


Love Is Calling

by ughaghost



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Neal doesn't exist, Pining, atleast he isn't brought up because i don't care to right about him or Gold, basically emotional stuff gets dealt with, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughaghost/pseuds/ughaghost
Summary: Canon divergent-ish after Neverland. Sometimes family doesn't come easy. But if you're willing to put in the work, it's definitely worth it.





	Love Is Calling

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Love is Calling [FanArt]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546918) by [bubble31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubble31/pseuds/bubble31). 

> I want to give a quick shout out here to Dom. We're not really in contact anymore but back when we were, we worked on a google doc for a story together. This is inspired by some of that brainstorming/outline session. I've also written another fic from that session posted a few years back called Punish Me. 
> 
> Altogether this was...hard. I haven't been feeling very inspired to write in the last few years what with my health getting worse, but I ended up with this and I would say I like it even better than last years effort. I hope you do too.

Regina was on a parole of sorts. Still mayor, because no one else would knew how to fill that role, but also under constant monitoring; and required to have twice weekly sessions with Archie and refrain from magic except in life or death situations. It was a decision Emma ultimately negotiated. Though the town wasn’t quick to forgive Regina by any means they also knew it was better to have her on side in the case of the next inevitable magical disaster. And Emma knew Regina deserved a real chance at choosing a different path.

  
  


Don’t get her wrong, Emma still thought Regina was a bitch. A crafty, arrogant, unapologetic bitch. But she was also a great mother to their son, a survivor and an almost...friend?

  
  


Since their return from Neverland things had been cordial between them. The knife’s edge of their animosity blunted by so much time depending on each other and working toward a common goal. Their time looking for Henry had bonded them in a way she was sure neither thought was possible. 

  
  


The back and forth they had always enjoyed had taken on an almost playful edge and Emma reveled in it. She loved to wind her up, to see that vein thrumming away in her forehead, eyes cold-dark. When Regina says something truly witty and cutting, she leaned into it. Spewed barbs of her own. Regina’s quick wit and sharp tongue is something she has come to weirdly admire, among many other traits.

  
  
  


They still argued about the stupidest things. Which is fine because Emma enjoys a good argument. She especially enjoys how Regina looked during a heated exchange, the red rising up her neck as her chest heaved with fury it’s...well Emma loved it...for reasons she didn't want to think too deeply about. She also figured it was a good, safe outlet for all of Regina’s pent up anger.

  
  


That morning they were arguing about the lack of nutritional value in a grilled cheese. Emma’s opinion being, who cared, they were delicious.

  
  


“Think about the example you’re setting for Henry.” 

  
  


Ugh, She couldn’t exactly deny that one. “Low blow Mills. And he’s not here right now anyway.” Emma shrugged 

  
  


Regina’s smirk faded. “Speaking of Henry...I think it’s time you let him come home. You must realize by now I’m no threat to him.”

  
  


Emma sighed, this wasn’t a conversation she wanted to be having at all, let alone at that moment. She didn’t know how to tell Regina Henry wasn’t ready yet. He too had been seeing Archie, working to forgive Regina for everything. The lengths Regina went to in Neverland did a lot in that regard but there was something holding him back. Emma knew he missed his mother but he was still hesitant and he hadn’t stayed over at the mansion since they got home.

  
  


Before Emma could reply in walked her parents, they frowned as they did every time they saw her and Regina together getting along, or as close as they got to it. They placed their order with Ruby before coming over to her and Regina’s booth. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Regina tensed.

  
  


“Good afternoon Emma. Regina.” 

  
  


“Hey Snow, Hi David.” Regina remained silent, only giving them a cold, stiff smile.

  
  


David shot Emma a far warmer smile. “Someone left pretty early this morning.”

  
  


“Huh, yeah I just...had some paperwork to catch up on.” Emma shrugged sheepishly ignoring Regina’s questioning look. “The Mayor’s a hard ass. You know how it is.” She laughed awkwardly.

  
  


“Yes well if she’s making you work too hard-”

  
  


“It’s fine, Mary Margaret.” Emma cut her off.

  
  


“If you say so. Anyway we actually wanted to speak to you. We were thinking now that things have calmed down a bit it would be nice to spend some time together.”

  
  


“I see you every day? We live together.”

  
  


“Yes but I meant quality time, family time. Your father and I are having a family dinner friday.”

  
  


Emma tried not to visibly grimace. The last thing she wanted to do was spend more time with Mary Margaret. David was fine enough. At the station they got along like old friends. He was laid-back and funny, it was hard not to like him. But Mary Margaret- Snow, was just too much.She mothered Emma as if she was a teen and not a mother herself. And around her David put on a gruff dad like act to appease her. It was all so awkward and not what she needed from them.

“I-” Emma glanced around desperately searching for an out to what would surely be an awkward experience. “I actually have plans.” She wasn’t scheduled to work so that was out, and she didn’t have many friends, definitely no one she could count on to lie to her parents and cover for her. No one except. “REGINA!” Her audience of three all jolted at her outburst.

  
  


“What about her.” Snow crossed her arms.

  
  


“I- we- have plans. Dinner. With Henry.” Emma sent a silently glowering Regina a desperate look.  _ Come on, come on, help me out you beautiful asshole _ . 

  
  


Regina cleared her throat and turned to Snow and David. “Miss Swan is correct. We’re spending time together with Henry, Archie suggested it, family bonding. Of course you’re welcome to attend.” She said in a tone making it clear she meant the exact opposite.

  
  


“Oh no that’s alright.” Snow replied hastily, “How about Sunday then?”

  
  


“Can’t I’m working all weekend.”

  
  


Snow frowned in frustration, “Maybe sometime next week then?”

  
  


“Absolutely. If I’m not working. We’ll talk later.”

  
  


Ruby announced they’re order. “Well I guess we’ll see you tonight then honey. Try not to slam the door so hard when you come in.”

  
  


“Sure thing. Bye guys.”

  
  


With a quiet goodbye David and Snow left, Emma breathed out deeply in relief.

  
  


“What the hell was that, Swan?!” Regina whispered venomously.

  
  


Emma threw up her hands, shrugging slightly, “I’m sorry, I panicked.”

  
  


“You can’t just-” Regina tried to breathe deeply, reigning herself in Emma was sure. “You can’t dangle something like that in front of me if you have no intention of following through. Henry is a pawn to get out of dealing with your parental angst.”

  
  


“And whose fault is it I have parental angst in the first place!”

  
  


Shoulders slumping Regina just looked away.

  
  


“Wait I’m- I’m sorry.” Emma dragged a hand across her face. “It’s just, things with them are so awkward. I shouldn’t have said that and course Henry isn’t just a pawn.” She nodded determinedly. “We should actually do it. Have dinner I mean. I’ll talk to Henry about it, if you like.”

  
  


“I would.”

  
  


“Okay.” They shared a tentative smile. Emma couldn’t help but think of that word again, beautiful. She shook her head, weird, and went back to eating her now cold grilled cheese. The rest of lunch was spent in content silence

  
  


\----

  
  
  


It took a little convincing to get Henry to agree to dinner but Emma could see he was excited by the idea.

  
  


“You’re sure you and mom are going to behave?” The look he gave her was skeptical and all Regina.

  
  


“Come on kid, it’s been a month. We’ve totally been getting along fine.”

  
  


“You fight all the time.”

  
  


“No we argue and that’s- Well that’s just the way we are. It’s harmless, I promise.” Emma ruffled his messy hair. “I know you miss her kid. Besides, don’t you want to eat something with actual flavour for once that isn’t from Granny’s?”

  
  


He laughed, “Mom’s cooking is the best.”

  
  


“It is. I’d be willing to risk another sleeping curse for some more of her lasagna.”

  
  


“Emma!”

  
  


“I’m kidding, I know she’s not that person anymore. Now,” Emma pointed to the dining table, “Homework time for you young man.”

  
  


Henry got to work without complaint. Such a good kid. Regina did a great job with him. Emma resolves to mention that to her at some point in the future. Regina deserved to know that despite everything Emma was grateful to her for raising Henry. 

\----

  
  


They were late to dinner. 

  
  


In Emma’s defense, it wasn’t because of her usual procrastination. It just seemed that everything that could have gone wrong had. 

  
  


Old Mrs. Kettle somehow got herself locked out of her cottage, which meant Emma had to go over and practice some of her old juvie lock picking skills which took about ten minutes because she was so rusty. 

Then on the way to the loft she bumped into Belle’s father carrying a ridiculous amount of potting soil and ended up covered in it, which meant she had to shower and wash her hair again. She had a severe bout of self doubt and couldn’t choose an outfit to save her life even though she knew Regina couldn’t care unless she wore pajamas or something, in which case she’d say something snide. And Emma didn’t really mind most of the time but she promised Henry they’d be on their best behavior which meant no snippy back and forth. She’d rather avoid the whole situation and pick something nice enough not to provoke her. 

  
  


When she finally had chosen an outfit and they were on their way out the door Snow held them up for ten minutes talking about...well to be honest Emma wasn’t really listening, too busy panicking about the tongue lashing she was going to get from Regina.

  
  


They pulled up thirty minutes late, they hadn’t even left the car before Regina was opening the front door. Her face was stoney but Emma caught the relief in her eyes.

  
  


“Henry.” Regina bent catch him in a tight hug as he flew into her arms. She let him go with a kiss to his forehead. “Go wash your hands, and sit at the table. I’ve been keeping dinner warm.”

  
  


“What is it?”

  
  


“Your favourite.”

  
  


“Tacos!!!” He fist pumped in excitement, taking off into the house.

  
  


Regina crossed her arms and eyed Emma furiously, “You’re late.”

  
  


“I know. It was just one thing after another. I got covered in soil and Snow wouldn’t shut up.”

  
  


“Like mother like daughter.”

  
  


“Ow.” Emma took a moment to take Regina in. She was wearing a simple perfectly fitted burgundy dress and heels, looking every part the the powerful, well off woman she was. Looking down at her best jeans and black button up under her favourite leather jacket Emma frowned, she felt underdressed.

  
  


“Can I come in?” 

  
  


“I suppose.” Turning abruptly Regina walked off toward the kitchen. “Make sure you wipe your shoes. I wouldn’t want you tracking anything in here.”

  
  


Biting her tongue , Emma did as asked, stopping to wash her own hands before joining Henry and Regina in the dining. The smell was amazing. And seeing the spread of ingredients her stomach gurgled in anticipation. 

  
  


“Can you manage to build your own without creating a mess or should I make yours for you, Emma?” Regina asked, smirking.

  
  


She promised Henry they’d be good _ . _ “I’m sure I’ll manage.”

  
  


“Hmm, if you’re sure. So Henry what have you been learning in school.”

  
  


The rest of dinner passed without conflict. Both women content to let Henry ramble on as they smiled at him warmly.

  
  


“Can I be excused. I want to read some comics I left in my room.”

  
  


Emma noticed the smile on Regina’s face when he spoke of his room. “Sure sweetheart.” She caught herself and stiffened, “Unless you were planning on leaving right away, Emma?”

  
  


Emma just smiled. “ Go for it kid.”

  
  


Henry ran off upstairs and Regina rose to clear the table, stacking plates and carrying them into the kitchen. Emma decided to follow.

  
  


“Need any help with the dishes?” 

  
  


Regina stared at her, mulling it over. “I’ll wash, you dry.”

  
  


“Sure.”

  
  


It was slightly awkward doing dishes in complete silence but Emma wasn’t sure whether or not to attempt conversation. She knew Regina was still irritated with her and she didn’t want to argue in case Henry came down, because it would upset him. She kept quiet, stealing glances at Regina’s profile.

  
  


With the dishes done Emma thought it was about time to call Henry down so she could escape the awkwardness of this whole interaction, before she could Regina caught her attention.

  
  


“Wine?”

  
  


“Uh, sure.”

  
  


Regina grabbed two glasses and the bottle, carrying them into the den. Placing one very deliberately on a coaster in front of Emma she filled it halfway then her own, before taking a sip.

  
  


“While I’m glad to see Henry, you’ve been strange all evening. Loosen up, shouldn’t I be the one whose nervous?”

  
  


Emma picked up her glass and took a deep swallow. “You’re right. To be honest being good this evening has been a completely enervating experience.”

  
  


“Enervating,” Regina’s brows rose in surprise. “That’s a pretty big word for someone of your intellect. I’m surprised you could use it correctly nevermind spell it.”

  
  


“Oh I’ll spell it for you. It’s F-U-C-K-Y-.”

  
  


“What’s going on? Are you guys fighting?” Both women started, having been so distracted by their conversation they missed Henry coming back downstairs.

  
  


“No way kid.”

  
  


“Emma was just trying and failing to spell a big word,” Regina pointedly explained.

  
  


Emma shrugged goofily, “What can I say? Don’t be like me, stay in school.”

  
  


“Okay,” Henry looked between his mothers in confusion, “Anyway I wanted to say I’ve done my homework. And I’m sleepy, can we leave now?”

  
  


And maybe this was a bad idea, but Emma could see how much Regina dreaded saying goodbye to Henry again. “What do you say about staying here? Then you can spend the day with your mom tomorrow?”

  
  


Seeing the hopeful look in his mother’s eyes Henry replied with an enthusiastic, “Cool.”

  
  


“Have a good night kid.” Emma wrapped in a hug. 

  
  


“Night Emma.”

  
  


“Go up and get ready, I’ll be up in a minute to tuck you in,” Regina directed. With a small smile Henry went on his way.

  
  


“I guess I should be leaving,” Emma stood slowly..

  
  


“You haven’t finished your wine?” 

  
  


“Oh I- yeah I guess I could.” Honestly she’d just been thinking about leaving before she wore out her welcome but it seemed like maybe... Regina wanted her to stay. 

  
  


Regina started up the stairs but paused halfway. “Emma?”

  
  


“Hmm?”

  
  


“Thank you.” She continued leaving a smiling Emma sipping her wine.

  
  


One glass had turned into a bottle after Regina returned. Once the tension had broken and they were alone Emma started to relax and really enjoy Regina’s company and the wine. Maybe a little too much as she realized she was more than tipsy and had to walk home.

  
  


“Do you really think you can make it home in your state? Perhaps it would be better if you stayed in one of the guest rooms until morning.” 

  
  


“Naw I’ll be fine. Don’t want anyone worrying about me staying over, the cold air with clear my head.”

  
  


“If you insist.” Regina was worried about her and she couldn’t tell if it was that or the alcohol making her blood hum. But best to leave it like this, a perfect night. The best she’d had in ages. No sense in ruining it by staying to morning, having her sleep deprived hangover face off against Regina’s general peevishness.

  
  


“I do. I’ll see you tomorrow night.” She waved dopily and stepped out into the cold night, blood still so warm with happiness she hardly noticed the chill. 

  
  


\----

  
  


Emma’s attempt at a quiet entrance into the loft proved superfluous when she noticed Snow seated at the table waiting up for her.

  
  


“Uh Hi.” Emma blinked at Snow blearily.

  
  


“Where have you been?! And where’s Henry?” Snow’s accusatory tone made the twinge behind Emma’s eyes even more pronounced.

  
  


“He’s with his mom.” Whatever this was Emma wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

  
  


“You ARE his mom.”

  
  


“Regina, obviously. He’s with Regina. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to be up in,” Emma looked at the time on the stove and groaned, “Four hours for work tomorrow.” 

  
  


“You can’t possibly think it’s a good idea to leave him with her?”

  
  


“Why not? She loves him, he survived for 11 years with Regina, I’m sure he’ll be fine for the night. Especially now that Regina’s all powered up.”

  
  


“That’s exactly why not. She can’t be trusted, not with her magic.”

  
  


“I have magic too.” 

  
  


“That’s totally different. Your magic is good, made from true love. Hers is-”

  
  


“-Evil? Dark? What does she have to do for you people to recognize that she’s trying to change? She’s done everything the town asked of her.”

  
  


“You don’t understand our history with her Emma. We gave her so many chances and every time she threw them back in our faces. Whose to say she isn’t planning something right now. It would be especially convenient now that Henry isn’t around all the time to catch her.”

  
  


“I’ve been watching her.”

  
  


“Is that what we’re calling it?” Snow can’t possible be insinuating...

  
  


“I’m too drunk for this.” Emma turned right back around opening the door and stomping out.

“Where are you going?!? Emma?!?!”

  
  


“Somewhere I can sleep in peace!”

  
  


That somewhere ended up being a cell in the police station. She was woken by David only a few short hours after she’d fallen asleep.

  
  


“Morning. I brought coffee.” He gave her a cautious smile.

  
  


“Thank you.” Emma sat up tentatively, checking to see how bad the damage was. Her head rang and her stomach pitched dangerously, she waited for them to settle before reaching out for the cup.

  
  


“So.”

  
  


“So.” Fantastic, another conversation Emma didn’t want to have hopefully she wouldn’t be 0/2.

  
  


“Snow told me what happened.”

  
  


“You here to tell me my kid shouldn’t be trusted to his own mother too?”

  
  


“No.”

  
  


Emma looked at him in surprise, “No?”

  
  


“No. I don’t think Regina is a danger to Henry. She loves him, she’s proven that.”

  
  


“Tell your wife that.”

  
  


“I did. I think...Snow’s just having a hard time seeing you and Regina get along when she can’t seem to make the connection she wants with you.”

  
  


Emma sighed. She could understand why it would bother her mother to see her enemy getting closer to her daughter than she herself was but that wasn’t Emma’s fault. 

  
  


“She just...she treats me like the child she still wants me to be. But I can’t be that for her. And she’s so pushy about it. She’s forcing things when I just need space and she doesn’t get that. She doesn’t get me.”

  
  


“She wants to Emma, I know she’s going out about in her own Snow way but she wants to know you. If I tell her to back off a bit will you give her the chance to do that?”

  
  


“I’ll try.”

  
  


\----

  
  


Snow’s idea of giving Emma space was watching her with sad yearning eyes whenever they so much as shared space but keeping conversation to a minimum and it was driving Emma nuts. This was almost worse than her constantly pestering Emma for bonding time.

  
  


“It’s like. When someone asks you out and you turn them down and they act like you’ve broken their heart and they can’t understand why you said no. That but my mother, who is also the same age as me with the personality of someone i would never speak to if we weren’t related. It’s like all the parts of Mary Margaret I liked were the cursed bits and now that they’re gone we have nothing in common.”

  
  


Regina bit her lip, as if stopping herself from saying something.

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“It pains me to say this but perhaps you’re being a bit...unfair.”

  
  


“What do you mean?”

  
  


“You’re mother and Mary Margaret were not that different. I knew them both. The biggest change is their relationship to you.”

  
  


That actually made...a lot of sense

  
  


“She lost 28 years with you can you really blame her for being desperate to get them back. You should understand that more than anyone.”

  
  


“I- you’re right.”

  
  


“I’m sorry?”

  
  


“You’re sorry?”

  
  


“I just never thought I’d live to see the day you actually admitted I was right.” 

  
  


“Well considering you’ve already lived 28 extra years, it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise,” Emma replied with a laugh.

  
  


“I am- sorry you know? What I did to you. I can never-”

  
  


“No you can’t...But you did right by Henry. And everything you've done lead to him. So we can’t really regret it can we?”

  
  


“No. we can’t.” Regina admitted quietly. It felt a lot like understanding. It felt a lot like being seen. And if it made something inside her chest settle, for the first time in days, well add that to the list of things Emma wasn’t going to question. 

  
  


\----

  
  


“Good evening Emma.”

  
  


“Snow.” It had been a few days and things were still tense between Emma and her mother. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t trying, she just found it difficult to open up to people and the suffocating look in Snow’s eyes only made it worse.

  
  


“Where’s Henry? Shouldn’t he be home for dinner tomorrow?” Emma had agreed to a family dinner to appease her mother, which she was dreading.

  
  


“Yeah they’re on their way.”

  
  


She smirked as a knock sounded at the door, “That should be them now.”

  
  


She opened the door to a stiff looking Regina and a smiling Henry.

  
  


“Hey kid. You have a good time with your mom?”

  
  


He threw his arms around her, “Hi Emma. Mom took me to the diner for dinner. She even let me have a milkshake.”

  
  


“Oh she did, did she?” Emma’s tone turned admonishing as she sent Regina a scowl. She just smirked in response, “I thought he deserved a treat.”

  
  


“I’m sure you did,” Emma replied with no real venom. “There’s no way he’ll fall asleep on time now.

  
  


If he’s tired tomorrow it’s your fault.”

  
  


“Why would you do that to him Regina?” Snow piped up from her place at the table. Emma had honestly forgotten she was there. “Pumping your son full of sugar, how irresponsible. Don’t you care about his health?”

  
  


“It’s sugar not arsenic. And it was a small chocolate shake. Hardly a reason to call child protective services.” Regina rolled her eyes.

  
  


“This is a perfect example of why I told Emma not to let him see you.” Snow crossed her arms.

  
  


Emma could sense the situation getting out of hand and tried to defuse it. “And I didn’t listen because I never listen. Which is something that everyone can agree on heh, right?”

  
  


“You did WHAT?!?” So much for that then.

  
  


“I told Emma you were a bad influence. Who knows what you’re planning?”

  
  


“I’m the bad influence? Which one of us had the other kill their own mother again?”

  
  


“I-,” Snow faltered, “I already apologized for that. You can’t keep holding it against me.”

  
  


“It was less than a year ago and I thought you’d learned something from that whole experience. But it appears you’re back to your old beliefs of black and white, good and evil, and I will always be the latter. Do not interfere in my relationship with my son, Snow. You know exactly how far I’m willing to go for him.” With a sneer Regina spun on her heel and left the apartment.

  
  


“Well clearly I-”

  
  


“Stop. Just stop Snow.” Emma held up a hand. She was furious but she didn’t want to yell and draw Henry’s attention. It was a small miracle he hadn’t been alerted by Regina’s voice earlier. “There’s no excuse for the things you just said to Regina. You know she’s changed. And so had you. Or at least that’s what we all thought.”

  
  


“Emma sweetheart, I’m just trying to protect you, can’t you see that? You shouldn’t get close to her, it will only hurt you in the long run. She does love Henry, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t still hurt you or anyone else she deemed a threat to her plans.”

  
  


“What plans?”

  
  


“Her plans to steal everyone away from me.”

  
  


Emma just sighed, defeated, “Regina doesn’t have to plan anything to make me want nothing to do with you Snow. You’ve done a good job of that all by yourself.”

  
  


She noticed Snow’s face crumple as she began to cry but Emma was honestly too disgusted to care. This cemented the idea she had been toying with since they got home from Neverland, she needed to get her own place as soon as possible.

  
  


\----

  
  


“You can stay here.” Regina offered offhandedly. Her voice broke the silence they’d fallen into working on paperwork in the den.

  
  


Emma just stared at her with eyes wide. Regina couldn’t possibly mean…

  
  


“It would be best, for Henry, to have his mothers under the same roof.” She continued typing as if what she said wasn’t huge, as if wouldn’t change everything.

  
  


“I don’t- I mean I know you feel pity, or something, for me but you don’t have to-”

  
  


“I’m well aware I don’t have to. I told you, it would be best for Henry. And there will be stipulations of course.”

  
  


Of course, she should have known it wouldn’t be so easy. “What kind of stipulations? I mean I’ll pay rent-”

  
  


“I’ve drawn up a contract. These are the rules you agree to adhere to, as well as the rent you must be willing to pay.”

  
  


Emma laughed bemusedly and looked over the contract. Twenty rules? And 80% of them were ridiculous. No eating in her room, yeah not likely. Responsible for her own meals except dinner 5 days of the week? Yeah she could make a pb and j that wasn’t a problem but no sleepovers? It’s not as if she’d invite a stranger into the house her son was living in. Or that there were any prospects on that front in general. Thinking of, it’s not as if she’d had any sex since Graham which was just pathetic when she thought about it. Which she hadn’t had much chance to do with the constant drama going on.

  
  


She realized she’d been lost in her thoughts for a while and looked up to find Regina watching her, waiting.

  
  


“These are ridiculous, you realize that right? Pants on outside my room at all times?” Emma scoffed, “Don’t act like you were complaining about the view, Mills.”

  
  


“The rules are non-negotiable. Take some time to think about it. I’m sure you’ll realize how limited your options are.” Regina smiled smugly.

  
  


She did think about. As she said goodnight to Henry before making her way to the loft. The loft where Snow was pointedly ignoring her side eyeing her hopefully as if she expected any minute Emma would concede she’d been right along. As the tension became too much and she made a bed in her back seat for the 3rd time that week.

  
  


And the next day, just after 9 in the morning, she left her car, walked straight into Regina’s office and slammed the sign contract on her desk. Because anything would have been better than the way things were then, at least she hoped.

  
  


\----

  
  


She moved out in the dead of night like a thief. Packing her meagre belongings into a cardboard box she tossed in her backseat. She opened the door with her freshly made key and tugged off her boots, which she tucked in the hall closet, before making the trek down to her new home in the basement.

  
  


The room was perfectly clean and finely decorated if a bit bland. Emma didn’t know what had been here before but she could only assume it hadn’t always been made up for guests. After all there were plenty of rooms on the 2nd floor and it’s not like Regina had any friends to stay over anyway. But no she’d chosen to give Emma the basement for a reason, and she could only speculate it was to remind her of her place, she might be staying here but this wasn’t her home. She was grateful for shelter and the large bed but before she finally drifted off, Emma couldn’t help but notice that she felt just as lonely here as she did in her car.

  
  


\----

  
  


Breakfast was awkward. Henry was happy to see her, Regina ignored her as she cooked for herself and Henry. Emma just sat blurry eyed, letting Henry’s voice wash over her until Regina must have taken pity on her because a mug of coffee was placed by her hand.

  
  


Letting out a gruff,” Thanks.” she chugged the molten coffee desperately.

  
  


“How does that not burn your tongue?” Henry asked slightly awed.

  
  


“Practice.”

  
  


“I take it by the late hour you got in, you waited for your parents to fall asleep before coming here?” Regina asked over her shoulder as she tended to the eggs.

  
  


“I just didn’t want to have that argument. “

  
  


“So you plan to avoid Snow forever?”

  
  


“Not forever just...as long as possible.”

  
  


Getting up from her stool, Emma stretched with a yawn, arms reaching above her head. “I’m going to shower. If you’re ready in the next 15 minutes I can drop you at school, Henry.” She looked to Regina noticing and dismissing the reddening of her cheeks, “If that’s alright with you?”

  
  


“I- yes.” Regina cleared her throat, “That should be fine.”

  
  


With a small smile, she headed back downstairs, missing the fact that the eggs Regina finished had been placed in front of the seat she’d just vacated.

  
  


\----

  
  


An accident brings things to a head. She’d left her boots in front of the door. A little rebellion against Regina’s ridiculous rules after days of tiptoeing around the house like a ghost. She didn’t intend for anyone to trip on them and get hurt, especially not Henry. But that’s what happened. Henry entering the house with his usual youthful exuberance didn’t notice the boots until too late. He tripped, and landed in a heap holding his arm and howling in anguish. It was a sound Emma knew would haunt her for nights to come.

  
  


Regina, ever the prepared mother, sprang into action immediately. She held a hand over his arm briefly, before shaking her heard head and dropping it. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders she helped him to the car. Emma barely folded herself into the backseat before they were speeding towards the hospital.

  
  


In the end it was a fracture. No surgery required but he would need a cast for 6 weeks while it healed. Henry was mostly bummed he wouldn’t be able to go ice skating in a few weeks when the pond froze over. Emma hadn’t said a word since the accident and Regina hadn’t said anything to her either but she knew it was coming. She could see the anger building behind her eyes. The outrage that someone, that Emma, had endangered Henry. That he’d been hurt because of her carelessness.

  
  


She chose to wait until he’d gone to bed to release her fury

  
  


“Did you read the contract before you signed it? Can you read at all? Maybe I should have asked this earlier. I thought it was my own bias making me assume you were an idiot but I guess it’s just a fact.”

  
  


“It’s not as if I intended this to happen Regina! You know I would never hurt Henry.”

  
  


“Not on purpose maybe but you’re negligent and everywhere you go trouble seems to follow. No wonder no one has ever kept you around!” The moment the words left Regina’s mouth both women froze. Her eyes widened.

  
  


It landed like a punch in Emma’s stomach and somehow hurt more. It knocked any semblance of anger out of her, any desire to argue. Regina was right of course, history had proven that over and over. Nobody kept her and she’d always known it was because something was wrong with her fundamentally. Something that no one could see, that pushed everyone away. That made her too broken or worthless for anyone to keep. But hurting Henry... She loves him so fully, in a way she never thought was possible for her as broken as she is. And he was hurt, because she was petty and selfish. Henry was hurt. What kind of mother did that make her? She had to stay away from him, for his own safety.

  
  


“You’re right.”

  
  


The words shake Regina out of her trance, “Emma-”

  
  


“-No. You’re right Regina I’m- I shouldn’t ever have come here.” Because she should have known she’d fuck it up eventually. She did know that, which was why she’d tried so hard to follow Regina’s ridiculous rules at first. But as time went on she’d come to resent never being able to relax properly and feeling like an unwanted house guest.

  
  


“You don’t mean that-”

  
  


“I’ll be back for my stuff later.”

  
  


“Wait! Just wait Emma I didn’t-”

  
  


Emma missed the rest of what Regina said, lost in the swelling panic and self loathing drowning her.

  
  


\----

  
  


She went on a bit of a bender. It was either that or leave town and despite the VERY strong urge to cross the townline and just keep going, she couldn’t do that to Henry. So for three days she drove out into the woods and just drank. She avoided human contact as best she could, her phone off and her hours nocturnal. Her only interaction was with the guy at the convenience store who sold her whiskey and boxes of poptarts. She cried a lot, sometimes she screamed. She could feel herself cycling rapidly between anger, at Regina, the universe, herself, and despondence and treacle like self hatred. On the fourth day, she woke to a knock on her window and it could really only be one person

  
  


“Emma.”

  
  


“Uh hey Madam Mayor. What are you doing out here in the woods?” Emma was sober enough to realize her days of wallowing were probably over.

  
  


“Looking for you.”

  
  


The silence was loaded. Regina ran a hand through startlingly rumpled hair. Emma had never seen her so dishevelled.

  
  


“How did you find me?”

  
  


“It’s funny how willing your parents are for me to do magic as long as it’s for their benefit. Have you been out here the whole time?” Regina’s tone is exasperated. The bags under her eyes large. Just another thing to feel guilty about.

  
  


“Yeah. What better place to drink my pain away without being judged. Can’t have the sheriff crying at the local bar now can you?”

  
  


“And you couldn’t bother telling us you were okay? You’re parents were worried, as was our son who is supposed to be trying to heal. All he’s been doing is asking for you.”

  
  


She took note of the fact that Regina didn’t include herself in that list. Why would she? It’s not as if they were friends, no matter how much Emma thought they were. “I hurt him.”

  
  


“You didn’t hurt him, it was an accident.” Regina sighed before reaching for the handle to the driver’s side door. Beer cans spilled onto the ground. She reached down to pick them up, throwing them into the passenger's seat.

  
  


“What are you doing?”

  
  


“Driving you home.” She started up the bug and started winding them back down the dirt path through the woods.

  
  


“I don’t have a home.” Emma said it hopelessly, resigned. It was a fact she’s been working to accept. Even if she thought for a time, that she’d finally get to have one. Her parents were alive, she’d been reunited with her kid, surely that should have lead to a home and a feeling of safety and stability, instead she felt shackled, duty bound. To a town she has to protect, to parents who don’t really want her, not as she is. To a son who deserves so much better. Forever the lost girl.

  
  


\-----

  
  


Pulling up to the mansion Emma felt like she’d been away a lot longer than 3 days. “Henry’s with your parents. I’ll call them after you get cleaned up.”

  
  


Nodding in reply Emma waited for Regina to unlock the door, proceeding down to her room. It looked mostly as she’d left it except for the sweater lying on her bed. It was old and ragged, something she’d held onto for years. This must have been the thing Regina used for the location spell, although how she knew it was important Emma couldn’t fathom.

  
  


The shower she took was extra long, she even washed her hair twice before drying off and slipping into the sweatshirt on her bed and her favourite jeans. Up this point she’d avoided looking at herself in the mirror when she finally did it wasn’t pleasant. She could see the sadness in her eyes plainly. She looked pale and sickly. Though she didn’t want anyone to worry she couldn’t be bothered to make herself up for them. She was done hiding the fact that she wasn’t okay. Appeasing everyone wasn’t working.

  
  


The front door flew open as Emma climbed the stairs, she could hear Regina admonishing Henry to slow down. “You already broke your arm? Would you like to add another injury to the list?”

  
  


The relief was instant. It had only been 3 days but Emma had missed Henry fiercely even as she convinced herself he was better off away from her so he wouldn’t end up hurt again. Then she looked at her parents. They like Regina looked harried and worn down, but the smiles on their faces were luminous.

  
  


They converged on her all at once, surrounding her in warmth. For the first time in a long while, she allowed herself to fully believe in the love they had for her. Not the saviour just Emma Swan.

  
  


\----

  
  


It didnt take Emma long to pack. She never really settled in and only had a few things to begin with. Lifting her box into her arms she departs the room without a backward glance.

  
  


She didn’t expect Regina to be up, hoping to make a clean getaway much like she did when moving out of the loft. Unfortunately for Emma, Regina was in the kitchen and spotted her on her way to the door.

  
  


“Where the hell are you going, Emma Swan?”

  
  


Freezing, Emma cringed at the venom in Regina’s tone. She turned to face Regina sheepishly. “Regina.”

  
  


“Where are you going? Running off again? The disappearing act gets old.”

  
  


“I’m not running away just moving out.”

  
  


Regina paused in surprise, “Moving out? Why?”

  
  


“I don’t know Regina, why do you think?” Emma answered in irritation. Noticing Regina’s genuinely confused face, she huffed. “You never apologized.”

  
  


“I- what?”

  
  


“You never apologized for saying what you did about Henry. Not that it’s really surprising because I’m sure your not sorry. “

  
  


Regina just continued eyeing in her confusion, not disputing Emma’s statement. “That’s why you’re leaving?”

  
  


“No. I’m leaving because you’ve done nothing but make me feel unwelcome here.”

  
  


“I don’t understand what you mean?”

  
  


“Well let’s start with your ridiculous list of rules. Or the fact that you put me in the basement to make sure I remembered this wasn’t my home.”

  
  


“Emma that isn’t-”

  
  


“Not to mention you’ve basically ignored me since I got here. We haven’t had lunch once since I moved in. Which just…You know you said once that my company was a step above having none whatsoever and I thought you were joking but it’s clear now you weren’t. I won’t stay around and be treated like an unwanted burden, I had enough of that as a child. I can’t live here constantly waiting for you to kick me out for any mistake I make. Or just ignore me entirely when you’re not insulting me.”

  
  


“I thought- I didn’t know that you felt that way.”

  
  


“Why would you, why would you even care?” Seething Emma gritted out, “You know progress was slow but I really thought we were friends. Or on our way there. But if this has proven anything to me it’s that I was wrong. You don’t care about me as anything more than a co-parent. It’s time I stop expecting more from you than what your offering. I’ll see you around Regina.”

  
  


\----

  
  


There was a bag from Granny’s on her desk. Which was weird because Emma was sure it wasn’t there 5 minutes ago and she was alone in the station for lunch. She opened the bag cautiously, squinting around in suspicion. Inside was a still warm grilled cheese and a bear claw.

  
  


Now despite being called one frequently Emma, is not in fact an idiot, she knew that it could have been a trap. Her favourite foods materializing on her desk, and just when she was considering calling David or Snow to ask them to pick something up for her. It was too convenient and she absolutely should not eat it…

  
  


But she was so hungry and it was right there in all it’s warm, delicious smelling glory.

  
  


She gave in and with one last glance around bit into the sandwich. If it killed her she wouldn’t have regretted It was that good. 2 cheeses, the perfect temp and not soggy despite being wrapped in foil. It was heaven in sandwich form. She inhaled it and was just about to get sad when she remembered the bear claw. She’d never had a bearclaw so good and the hint of cinnamon, she moaned, actually moaned out loud before remembering where she was and blushing. Thankfully still alone, she finished the bear claw quickly as well.

  
  


She waited for ill effects but after an hour she figured she was in the clear. Thinking back on her lunch fondly a thought occurred to her. There was no way that food was from Granny’s.

  
  


\----

  
  
  


“What the hell are you up to Regina?” Emma stormed into Regina’s office colour high with anger.

  
  


“I don’t know what you mean?”

  
  


Emma could have guessed she was lying even without the little alarm that went off in her head. “Oh please. The most amazing grilled cheese I've ever had just,” she gestured wildly, “poofs out of thin air and onto my desk.

  
  


“The most amazing you’ve ever had hmm?” The quirk to her mouth just served to rile Emma up even more.

  
  


“I don’t know what you’re playing it but knock it off.”

  
  


“Well Miss Swan, I’ll be sure to stop doing...whatever it is you think I’ve done. Is that all?”

  
  


How dare she seem completely cool and aloof in this situation and why the heck did Emma find it so appealing.

  
  


She couldn’t prove anything and even if she could what we she be complaining about exactly? Free, very delicious, food? She had let herself get all caught up in her irritation like she always did with Regina. Who knew, maybe this was exactly what she wanted, for Emma to make a fool of herself making wild accusations she couldn’t possibly prove. Well she wouldn’t be tricked like that again.

  
  


Without another word she turned on her heels and stormed right back out. Whatever Regina was up to, she wouldn’t let her get further satisfaction by acknowledging her.

  
  


Except it didn’t stop. Lunch showed up on her desk every shift. Always warm and delicious, without any explanation. And other things started occurring as well. Clothing with holes darned and clothing she was sure she hadn’t seen before showing up in her closet. A new pair of leather boots, higher quality than she could ever afford, in place of her old worn ones by the door. And through it all Regina didn’t say a word. Although Emma was certain she caught a glimpse or feeling of satisfaction from... someone whenever she deigned to wear or eat any of those gifts.

  
  


At some point reluctant gratitude mixed with her suspicion. Whatever their meaning, everything she’d received had been exactly right. And the fact that Regina knew her this well should have been frightening instead of...flattering? Though Emma wouldn’t admit that to anyone. The part of her that missed Regina didn’t want their strange dance to end.

  
  


\----

  
  
  
  


“Will you stay for dinner Ma?”

  
  


That was new and Emma could tell by the look on Henry’s face he wasn’t sure about it. Still, Emma didn’t attempt to hide her happiness at receiving the honourific. Sometimes she still struggled with believing she deserved the chance to be that to him, an actual parent. She took a mental note to bring it up with Archie during her next session.

  
  


“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Henry.”

  
  


“Come on Ma, please?” He shot her a sad contemplative look. “Mom misses you. She doesn’t have any other friends and I think she’s lonely. I don’t know what she did to make you leave but...I know she’s sorry.”

  
  


She couldn’t say no to him then, not after he called her Ma. Not when it simultaneously warmed her heart to see him looking out for his mother and made her sad that he had to worry about either of them. If she could make things easier for him by spending a little time in Regina’s company well for the first time in weeks she would. She’d even pretend to be happy about it.

  
  


“Okay. I guess I can stay for dinner. If that’s okay with your mom?”

  
  


“I’m sure it will be.” He said with a coy smile, exiting the car in an excited rush.

  
  


It didn’t take her long to realize he totally played her but Emma couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him. Like mother like son after all, That little hustler _ . _

  
  


She steeled herself at the door, debating whether or not she should knock even though Henry just went through. She didn’t get time to come to a decision before the door swung open and Regina stood before her. She was dressed immaculately as usual. Emma could feel irritation flit through her that Regina still looked this put together, no matter the circumstances.

  
  


“Henry said you were staying for dinner?” There was a hopeful look flashing through dark brown eyes. But no that couldn’t be right... Why should she care if Emma was staying for dinner? Unless it was another attempt to mess with her, like the lunches and the gifts. Emma couldn’t fathom her endgame but the idea that this was a trick sets her nerves further on edge.

  
  


“Yeah.”

  
  


“Well come through. You know where the dining room is.”

  
  


Regina walked off to the kitchen and Emma continued into the dining room only to stop at the sight before her. For some reason, Regina had pulled out the good china. And she hadn’t noticed before but wasn’t that the smell of-

  
  


“Lasagna for dinner. I hope that’s alright with you?”

  
  


And they were having her favourite as well, it was all...very strange. Emma narrowed her eyes at Regina. “MMhmm.”

  
  


Regina took her seat and when Henry returned from the bathroom, they dug in. Dinner was awkward, Emma spent it being careful not to show how much she was enjoying it and offering one word answers every time Regina tried to draw her into conversation. With every failure she seemed to deflate further.

  
  


Sensing the tension and opting to escape it, Henry excused himself immediately after dinner.

  
  


Emma rose from her seat and offered a terse, “Thanks for dinner,” before turning to leave.

  
  


“There’s dessert?” Regina followed her down the hall into the foyer.

  
  


“I’m good.”

  
  


Desperately Regina exclaimed, “Emma, please.”

  
  


She paused with her hand on the knob of the front door

  
  


“What can I do to get us past this because, I’m at a loss. I’ve never done this before.” With an irritated sigh, Emma turned to see Regina looking at her earnestly.

  
  


“Done what?”

  
  


“Apologized to anyone other than Henry and really meant it.”

  
  


“But you haven’t apologized Regina. You haven’t said the words. You just keep giving me food. I need more than that. You...you really hurt me and I need to know you get that and that you want things to be different.”

  
  


“I didn’t think that would be adequate. I wanted to show you, through actions. I can say I’m sorry, in fact I have before, but I doubt you’d believe me. And even if you did I didn’t think it would be enough to- well get us back to where we were before.”

  
  


That was the truth. Even though she could see how regretful Regina was, she couldn’t trust that it all wouldn’t turn out the same way in future. She got that Regina was defensive and acerbic. She didn't want her to change completely, just to treat Emma as if she mattered to her. Because she meant a lot to Emma... Regina meant so much to her. And having her treat Emma like everyone else, it hurt, a lot. Regina is beautiful and brilliant and even though she was pissed, she wanted to forgive her because… She had feelings for her... And that was a realization that couldn’t have come at a worse time.

  
  


Regina remained standing before her, waiting for some kind of reaction.

  
  


“What were we doing before?” Suddenly She was desperate to know what Regina thought was between them, desperate to believe Regina felt something more as well.

  
  


“You said you thought we were friends?” Regina swallowed, “I’ve had so few friends in my life, I’m no good at it. But if you’d give me the chance, I can try to be.”

  
  


Emma hadn’t had many friends either, none that stayed when it mattered. Part of her, the part that believed in self preservation, told her to run. Regina already hurt her and now that she knew she had these feelings, there was no way this could end well for her. But the other part, the part that felt seen by Regina and knew that she deserved better. The part that always believed in Regina, well that part won out.

  
  


“Okay.”

  
  


“Really?”

  
  


“I believe you when you say you’re sorry. We can, take things slow. Maybe try some of those lunches at the diner again. Go from there?”

  
  


Regina smiled softly, eyes a little damp though she’d deny it. “How about tomorrow?”

  
  


“I’ll see you there.” Emma returned her smile and left with a small wave, already looking forward to seeing Regina again. Because now that she allowed herself to accept certain thing, she could admit she really missed her. And even though it couldn’t end well she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

  
  


\----

  
  


They got a lot of stares and whispers at lunch. It seemed despite Emma’s thoughts to the contrary, sometimes, the people of Storybrooke weren’t completely oblivious. All the eyes on them were adding so much tension to an already delicate situation. Emma could feel her nerves and irritation grow in seconds. This was no way to restart things. She could see Regina was frustrated by it as well, but biting her tongue. 

  
  


Abruptly she stood, hands dropping to her hips and glared around the room, making sure to connect with everyone. “Yes, Regina and I are talking again. No it doesn’t concern you. Extra double hard no she didn’t do anything evil or nefarious to cause our fallout in the first place. Now I advise you all to turn to your own lunches because anyone who makes it hard for me to enjoy mine is coming for a ride to the station. Got it?” She scanned again, seeing everyone had taken note and looked away some going as far as physically turning in their seats. 

  
  


With a relieved sigh she siat back down, grabbing her burger and shoving half of it in her mouth before noticing Regina wasn’t eating. “What?” Emma couldn’t decipher the emotions on Regina’s face. She didn’t seem angry, more contemplative?

  
  


“Nothing, just...thank you for that.”

  
  


“Don’t worry about it. Everyone in this town is nosey, it was nice telling them to mind their own business for once.”

  
  


Regina put a hand on Emma’s arm, and squeezed gently. “Seriously. You’re always defending me, I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how much it means to me. So thank you Emma.”

  
  


Flushing at the compliment and Regina’s touch, Emma shoved more food in her mouth and nodded in response, before choking slightly and reaching desperately for her drink.

  
  


She was more sure than ever that this friendship with Regina would kill her, but she couldn’t and didn’t want to pull back again.

  
  


\----

  
  


Weeks passed with more lunches and dinners at the mansion and their relationship blossomed. This time she could really feel the effort Regina was making. 

  
  


Sometimes their conversations strayed to touchier subjects, instead of snapping or shutting down, Regina made an effort to let her in. She opened up about her mother and her childhood to a degree Emma thought she never would. The deeper she got to know the hopeless girl turned evil queen turned mother seeking redemption, the deeper she fell.

  
  


She spent every spare moment she could with Regina, when she wasn’t convincing herself Regina needed space and she should stay away. It was a constant internal struggle between always being near the woman she- loved? and the absolute certainty that this would end well for her. Emma was hoping it was just her imagination that people had begun to look at her knowingly. She might be a disaster but she wasn’t THAT obvious... Maybe it was another thing to be in denial about but if she acknowledged it she’d have to worry about it and she couldn’t do that while she was busy worrying about keeping her feelings from Regina.

  
  


Regina and Snow were even getting along, or at least not arguing. Snow had been better in general, giving Emma the space to be her own person and refraining from being quite so needy as before. She was still too much sometimes but Emma figured that was just her personality. She hadn’t said a bad word about Regina in weeks, even going so far as to say a polite hello when she saw her. Regina responded in kind, with only the vaguest traces of disdain and Emma couldn’t hold back her proud, happy smile. It felt like progress, it felt like her family finally coming together.

  
  


\----

  
  


It was 3 months later, Emma arrived for a regular family dinner and things were...weird to put it mildly. It reminded her of the night of Regina’s apology. Lasagna for dinner, Regina dressed to kill even though she’d been starting to relax a little around Emma. Even Henry was changed into a pressed button down and sharply creased khakis( he looked like a trust fund baby and it was something she’d tease Regina about later).

  
  


They were both on edge all night and though temporarily distracted by food, Emma couldn’t help but comment as soon as she’d finished the last of her dessert (cherry pie a la mode. Emma moaned throughout missing the red tinge to Regina’s cheeks).

  
  


“Okay what are you up to?”

  
  


Regina and Henry both froze, twin looks of guilt on their faces.

  
  


“I’m not sure what you mean?”

  
  


“You cooked my favourites again, and you’re all dressed up. I want to know what’s going on.”

  
  


Mother and son turned to each other and had a silent conversation. Sighing Regina nodded. “Henry and I have something we’d like to ask you. If you would take a seat in the den, we’ll meet you there.”

  
  


“Yeah uhm, okay?” Emma’s voice quivered with fear. Whatever this was, it was important Emma could sense, maybe even life changing.

  
  


Regina came in first carrying something that looked vaguely familiar. It was the godforsaken contract Emma was cornered into signing. The sight of it made Emma’s stomach turn.

  
  


“This contract wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, not really. To me it was just an extension of our usual combative relationship. When you said that...You thought I didn’t want you to feel welcome here, you were wrong. That was my fault but I want you to understand that despite my actions, there was never a time while you were living her that I wanted you to feel like this wasn’t your home. I gave you the basement only because i wanted you to have as much space as possible. It’s so separate it feels almost like an apartment. I thought you’d like that but I see now…”

  
  


She picked up the contract and ripped it in 2 and again for good measure, then gestured to a silently watching Henry. They sat on either side of Emma both taking one of her hands.

  
  


“Emma, these last few months have been amazing. I didn’t appreciate everything you’ve brought to our lives before. You make us laugh, you protect us and make us feel safe. I want you to know I don’t take that for granted. When you’re here, things feel complete.”

  
  


“We don’t want you to leave anymore Ma. It’s not home when you’re not here. So will you move back in with us? Can we be a family again?”

  
  


Emma didn’t know how she stopped crying long enough to say yes.

  
  


  
  
  
  


There was a new normal and it was everything Emma ever wanted...well almost.

When she wasn’t on the dayshift, they all left the house together. Regina dropped Henry at school before taking Emma to the station. She was sent off to work with a packed lunch and “Have a good day Emma. Stay safe.” Those words and the fact that someone cared enough to say them, meant so much more than she could express. All she could offer in return was a smile and “You too.” It’s too much, and not enough. She wanted to say, I love you, Yearned to send Regina off with a kiss, fortifying and sure.

  
  


It was worse in the evenings, especially the ones where Regina allowed herself to indulge. She drank enough wine to get a good flush in her cheeks and she was so gosh darn cute, relaxed and a little sloppy. She’d get handsy when she was tipsy. A hand on Emma’s cheek, a squeeze to her thigh. Some nights she practically sat in Emma’s lap and it was... a lot too handle. Too much, Not quite enough. It took all her will to take Regina up to bed, and leave her there. She went to her own room next door and tried not to think about full lips and warm brown eyes. She failed.

  
  


It was torture but the best kind. They acted so much like they were together It became a running joke in town. People asked after Regina when they happened across Emma alone, it was a pleasant surprise. Something about seeing them together had really made the town start to forgive the former evil queen. So Emma didn’t correct them on their assertion that they were an item, no matter how much it hurt. Even David teased her about “going home to her wife.” She laughed awkwardly without comment and fled chased by her desire.

  
  


The only person who hadn’t said anything so far was Snow. At least not with words. Though sometimes at their weekly dinners, instituted after she moved back into the mansion, Snow would look at her in such a way. Emma knew that Snow somehow knew everything. For whatever reason, whether it was because she objected or just because she could sense Emma wasn’t ready, she didn’t bring it up and Emma was grateful.

  
  


She had a family. Sure it was not exactly the way she wanted, but she did. Regina and Henry, were her home and she couldn’t jeopardize that just because she wanted more than Regina was offering.

  
  


\----

  
  


“Have I done something?”

  
  


Emma froze in her tracks. Regina sounded sad and unsure, Emma hated it.

  
  


“Uh I don’t know, have you?” She wasn’t supposed to notice so soon. Emma had no plan for this. She hadn’t had a plan since she came to this town but when it came to Regina, she knew even best laid plans went awry. She was a wild thing, unpredictable at the best of times, Emma found it endearing. That was when she wasn’t caught out like this.

  
  


“We haven’t had lunch all week. You barely talk at dinner, and never ask for seconds. I would be worried about your health if I wasn’t sure it had something to do with me.” 

  
  


Turning slowly Emma tried desperately to think of something to say. Some way to explain the way she’d been behaving recently. Something other than the fact that being with Regina and not fully WITH her hurt too much sometimes.

  
  


“Just tired I guess.” Emma shrugged.

  
  


“Try again.” Hard eyes stared into her own.

  
  


“I don’t know what you want me to say right now Regina?”

  
  


“I want you to tell me why you’ve been pulling away from me.” Regina crossed her arms, worry being superseded by anger.

  
  


Rubbing her hands across her face Emma huffed in exasperation. “Just drop it alright. I told you, everything is fine.”

  
  


“Why are you being difficult?”

  
  


Emma snapped, “Why won’t you drop it. If I wanted to be suffocated I would have stayed in the loft with my parents. God, just give me some freaking space.” 

  
  


In a flash Regina went stiff and cold, her mouth drawn tight with hurt. Emma can’t handle this, couldn’t stand to be there and witness the pain she caused.

  
  


She fled. Hurriedly pulling on outwear with her head ducked to hide the tears running down her face she ran out into the night; lamenting the fact that she broke something she was so desperate to keep together.

  
  


\----

  
  


Somehow Emma found herself at the loft. She never thought she’d be the type to go running to her mother for comfort but there she was. Snow took in her bloodshot eyes and lead her to the table before turning to put on the kettle. She didn’t say a word as it heated, letting Emma settle her thoughts in silence.

  
  


Finally a cup leaking steam was placed in front of her, and Snow took a seat with her own.

  
  


“I’m screwing it all up.” She started suddenly, voice full of anguish.

  
  


“What exactly are you screwing up honey?”

  
  


“Everything. Things were fine, they were good even, I was happy. But I couldn’t stop myself from…”

  
  


“Wanting more?” Snow asked quietly. She pulled Emma’s hands into our own. “Sweetheart there are so many things we can’t control and our hearts are definitely one of them.”

  
  


“I don’t know what to do. I tried to distance myself, just a little. So I could breathe you know but she noticed and I’m hurting her which is the last thing I want to do.

  
  


“You’re a runner Emma. Any time things get difficult. Sometimes even before they get the chance to, you run. And I know you have your reasons. But don’t throw this away because you’re scared. Talk to her, Tell her the truth. I promise you, you won’t regret it.

  
  


“What if she doesn’t love me the same way mom?”

  
  


“At least you’ll still have her in your life. She’ll still be your family. Would you rather lose her completely?”

  
  


\----

  
  


Maybe she should have made a plan instead of just showing up. The fact was once she made the decision she didn’t want to give herself a chance to lose her courage. She was going to confess. There was no way she could hide her feelings from Regina forever, and running only made things worse. She didn’t want to do that anymore. Fight or Flight, Emma’s first instinct had always been to run for the first 28 years of her life. Eventually she got past that to some degree. She stayed for Henry, for her parents and the rest of of Storybrooke. In spite of Regina and then, for her as well. But old habits die hard, and this, fighting to get over Regina, facing that conversation, might be her biggest challenge yet.

  
  


Drawing in a deep breath, Emma squared her shoulders and walked into the mansion straight through to Regina’s office. The sight she found gave her pause. Regina was behind her desk, holding a glass of scotch and looking like she hadn’t slept any more than Emma had. She eyed Emma with a mixture of relief and caution.

  
  


“You came back?”

  
  


“You didn’t think I would?”

  
  


“I wasn’t sure.” She drained her tumbler placing it on a coaster and rising slowly from her chair. “I think I know what all this has been about.”

  
  


“You do?” Emma was curious what Regina could possibly know. Had she given herself away?

  
  


“I haven’t been very subtle about my…” she cleared her throat awkwardly, “Feelings for you. I never expected you to return them but I didn’t think you would literally run from me, not now.”

Emma’s mouth fell open. Regina couldn’t possibly mean… “You have feelings for me?”

  
  


“Oh don’t act like you don’t know and it isn’t the reason you’re all, “she paused as if looking for the right word, “weird. I know I’m the Evil Queen but back where I’m from I was a catch, to some. Scoundrels and the power hungry, mostly.” She paused again as if she’d lost track of what she was saying. “My point! Is that-”

  
  


Emma kissed her to shut her up. She kissed her because she’d been fighting the urge for months. She kissed her because she couldn’t bear the idea that Regina thought she was disgusted by the idea of being with her when it was like a dream come true.

  
  


And Regina kissed her back. 

It was better than she imagined. Regina was soft full lips and a sharp musky smell. A hand tangled in her hair and someone, she wasn’t sure who, moaned.

They pulled back some time later panting and staring into each others eyes.

  
  


“Oh.” Regina murmured quietly. “I didn’t think that you- that we-”

  
  


“I know.” Emma pecked her again softly. “We’re idiots. I think we’re the only ones who didn’t know.”

  
  


They both laughed quietly still wrapped in each others arms.

  
  


“So can I take you out? You’ve made me dinner so many times over the last few weeks, I want to spoil you.”

  
  


“On one condition.”

  
  


“Anything.” Emma replied earnestly.

  
  


“You let me pick out your clothes. It’s been some time since I’ve seen you in a dress and I’d like to take the time to,” she licked her lips, “fully appreciate it this time.” Regina smirked dangerously and Emma was once again distracted by her mouth.

  
  


“A small price to pay.” And it really was. There probably wasn’t anything Regina could have asked that Emma would have said no to in that moment. Because things weren’t too much and not enough anymore. In that moment, they were exactly right.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comment, Kudos, etc. I'm ughaGHOST on twitter and annalisequeer-ing on tumblr.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Love is Calling [FanArt]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546918) by [bubble31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubble31/pseuds/bubble31)


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